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I’m HSP, I am.

I’m HSP, I am. I’m HSP, I am. I know I am, I’m sure I am. I’m HSP, I am. * :p

For those who know me, you may (or may not) have noticed that roughly 9 months ago I came upon a personal epiphany where I discovered that I am what is known as a Highly Sensitive Person.

Here is a very well written introduction to an HSP as found on HighlySensitivePeople.com:

Now, as an introduction to the trait of high sensitivity, see if some of these statements resonate with you, or relate to someone important in your life…

You, your partner, or someone important to you have a heightened awareness of subtleties in your environment, whether it’s sight, sound, touch, taste, or smell.

You can become stressed out and upset when overwhelmed and may find it necessary to get away, maybe into a darkened room, to seek solitude, relief and comfort.

You are very creative.

You are very conscientious, hard working, and meticulous, but may become uncomfortable and less efficient or productive when being watched or scrutinized.

You feel compelled to file and organize things and thoughts, also enjoy simplicity and may become overwhelmed or even immobilized by chaos, clutter, or stress.

You are very uncomfortable when feeling things are getting out of your control.

You get a sense of comfort and well being when around a lake, river, stream, the ocean, or even a fountain.

You may experience mood swings, sometimes occurring almost instantly and can also be affected by other people’s moods, emotions and problems.

You have a deep, rich, inner life, are very spiritual, and may also have vivid \s.

You are very intuitive and you feel that you can usually sense if someone isn’t telling the truth or if something else is wrong.

You get concerned and think or worry about many things, and have also been told “you take things too personally.”

You have had the experience of “cutting people out” of your life.

You were considered quiet, introverted, timid, or shy as a child.

So, by “sensitive” it does not just mean emotionally sensitive. It covers all the physical senses too. And basically, that’s me in a nutshell.

I hadn’t intended on going into too much detail about it right here, in this blog post. But if you are wondering if you might also be a HSP, there is a very awesome Self Test available here. This is the test that began the epiphany that has since given me the courage to gain the elusive empowerment I have always faked, but never truly grasped. I’m finally embracing my instincts (or “spidey sense” as my husband affectionately calls it) rather than marginalising it as paranoia or overthinking. I’m learning also that I cannot control how people react to what I say and do, because no matter how sensitive I am, I’m not superhuman. How they react is their responsibility, not mine.

Unfortunately, as much as I am now growing to love and respect my spidey sense, it has also highlighted (and explained) the recurring pattern of damaging friendships I’ve had in my life…

*sung to the tune of “H.A.P.P.Y”

Silent Sunday

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Details of Silent Sunday here

Silent Sunday

#tweetyour16yearoldself

Do you tweet (yet)? I do. Quite prolifically infact – if you hadn’t already figured it out already by the feed of all my latest tweets running down the right hand column of this blog… –>>>

Last Wednesday and Thursday (3rd & 4th November) saw a trending hashtag topic: #tweetyour16yearoldself – What would you say if you went back in time and met up with yourself at the age of 16 years old? (And if you really want to get in on the game with the appropriate rules, then keep it under 140 characters in true Twitter stylie…)

A few days later I read Chickenruby‘s blog. She only wrote 2 tweets for the topic. I realised I wrote far more than 2. Clearly, I have some issues with the way I my life was going around the 16 year old mark. There are a fair few things that I would like to have said to myself, even though I’m fairly certain that the hormonal teenager I was would never have cared to listen to a 30 year old mother of two and what she felt would be invaluable advice. Hell. I didn’t listen to my own mother, so why would I listen to somebody else’s??

So. I thought I’d list all my #tweetyour16yearoldself tweets here, so you can get a glimpse, albeit small, of what I feel I could have benefited from knowing. The issue that came up more than I expected was definitely a surprise to me. Make of that what you will…:

#tweetyour16yearoldself You are not a munter

#tweetyour16yearoldself Education is not the be-all & end-all of your life

#tweetyour16yearoldself Trust your instincts & get into creative arts or design. Infact. Ignore A levels altogether!

Don’t go to uni until you’ve taken at least one year out & if/when u do go, don’t get tied down w/ that bf! #tweetyour16yearoldself

Ditto this RT @nickie72: #tweetyour16yearoldself sleep around a bit – u’ll be tied to one bloke for the rest of ur life in a couple of yrs

All that time spent on ur hotmail & ICQ can be harnessed & nurtured into a job u know. Learn more! #tweetyour16yearoldself

I needed that advice, man! RT @DJMisterU: #tweetyour16yearoldself tell @sukkwan to be more promiscuous before she shacks up :D

Cut ur hair, short. Long hair looks crap on u. #tweetyour16yearoldself

Be a bit promiscuous. Definitely – for self confidence & awareness. Honestly. #tweetyour16yearoldself

And here was my favourite tweet from somebody else on the topic:

RogerQuimbly My 16 year old doesn’t have an elf. #tweetyour16yearoldself

So. What would you say? (comments welcome….. I think :p)

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Kath & myself. Aged nearly/roughly 16. Sorry Kath…! xx

The Storm Before the Calm

It’s been a helluva week.

My MIL has been in (and out and back in again) hospital for the past 2 weeks as a result of lumps in her chest, plus acute pain in the abdomen and lower back pain. It was suspected Lymphoma (cancer) and originally also Tuberculosis (TB). In her first week in hospital, the case for TB was dismissed. Lymphoma was the key suspect. We all braced ourselves for the worst. K and I started to take the Tu little ones in for visits in order to help bolster her mental strength during her more painful episodes and we all stayed strong.

The day after our third (and most positive) visit, MIL was discharged and allowed to go home to self administer her pain relief. Odd, we thought, but fair enough if she felt well enough. The only thing left to do was to await test results anyway.

2 days later she was back in hospital. The pain had become too much bear – to the point that she was vomitting and couldn’t hold down her painkillers. Her new Dr (at the A&E in BRI) diagnosed within 24 hours that she was infact suffering from extra pulmonary TB and that it had travelled to her lymph nodes, hence the lumps. One of these lymph lumps is apparently now compressing on a nerve ending causing her the acute pain. She has now begun the course of antibiotics to begin the journey of treating it.

Of course, now we *all* need to be tested for TB.

Not normally a worry, I know, as we’ve all had our top-up holiday vaccinations for TB, and both the little ones had their BCG jabs when they were tiny.

However. I’ve had a cough for the past month or more. Severe & chesty for 4 weeks. Now lingering and mildly chesty for the past week. The kids inevitably caught the cough from me roughly 2 weeks ago. On top of this they’ve also caught hand, foot and mouth disease (courtesy of the sand pit at the Little Man’s nursery). He’s been home from nursery all week and today began to show signs of cabin fever as he skipped his afternoon nap. Both of them are giving off pain-striken wails with each spoonful of food I feed them, although funnily enough there are no wails of pain when junk food is devoured… hmm…

So, I’ve arranged to get my chest xray (standard procedure for TB screening) before the weekend. My thinking is that if I can get myself found to be totally clear, then the chances of the kids having transmitted TB are even slimmer. Close to minute, I hope tbh.

In addition to this, K, who had my cough/cold last week, also lost a filling which laid bare a nerve. Immense pain for roughly 12 hours until he could get emergency root treatment to tide him over until the appointment for a root canal and crowning.

So, all in all, it’s not been a good run of luck in the health department recently. Thankfully, I have a weekend in the Lakes booked for my good childhood friend’s hen celebrations. I’ve requested my own bedroom for fear of contaminating everyone with TB – and might even end up with my own little cottage (probably with a black ‘X’ painted on the door)! And even though this week-in with the kids has actually been quite pleasant, I’m sure by this time tomorrow evening I will be desperate to zip off and have some time away!

Hello Blog World! I’m finally here!

My WordPress blog is installed!

Huge ginormous thanks to Julie Cheung!

Now to get on with all the little tweaks & customising tricks… hmmm *scratches head*